Carnage

And there was the carnal truth of it all

As I sit on my hand-me-down-hand-me-down couch next to the dog and worn blue carpet

as the baby sleeps in the next room

and traffic passes by

I see it

The prison I’ve been living in

The betrayal had given me many things

Resilience and humility and a returned trust in God

and it also gave me self loathing

That is what I had been living in

I can see it so clearly now

The feeling that if I was different, we would have lived happily ever after

But I am full of literature and old music and depth

I am the creaking ship on stormy waters

The sea as it rages and calms

I cannot, painstakingly and irreverently, be but anyone else

So now comes the journey back home

The returning to the hearth of who I am

The love and bliss in how I’ve been created

The gratitude in being here

Betrayal is fickle like that

It punishes the oblivious one

And then leaves a trail of breadcrumbs home for when they are ready to return